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not niki's blog
All I want for Solstice is my sanity

The holidays are just around the corner. And you know what that means. The Great Old Ones are stirring. Great Cthulhu is ready to rise, to destroy mankind and reclaim what was his.
So we offer up this sacrifice...

(We have different winter traditions here in Flynn-land.)

Oh, tidings of madness and woe,
Madness and woe,
Oh, tidings of madness and woe...

December 16, 2008 at 09:48

Corsets, crinolines and cock-ups

I had a delightful shoot with Firm Hand. A highly complex piece conceived and written by Amelia-Jane Rutherford and starring both of us and a certain infamous man. The story is this: Amelia and I (as ourselves) are shooting a Victorian melodrama. We oversleep and are late for the first day of shooting. When we arrive on set, the director (one of Firm Hand's own) decides to start things off on the right foot - by spanking us! Well, we're pretty outraged, but we take it and then storm off to change for our first scene.

The next episode is the first chapter of the period epic. Poor Amelia is the meek and mistreated niece of Mr Morton, a sadistic prison governor. He takes delivery of a consignment of corporal punishment implements one morning, which he then proceeds to try out on a whimpering, protesting Amelia, yanking up her voluminous petticoats and thrashing her over the breakfast table.

Amelia's spirits are lifted by the news that they will soon have company. You see, there's this unfortunate American woman named Madeleine whose evil husband had her declared insane so he could steal her fortune. Now the asylum wants rid of her and Mr Morton has kindly agreed to take her in. But when she confides to Amelia that her treatment in the asylum has been "beastly" (they even cut her hair and sold it to a wigmaker!), Mr Morton is outraged by her ingratitude. He spanks her immediately. (And we learn just how convenient crinolines are for raising.)

The girls bond instantly, but the disapproving Mr Morton seems to find criminal intent in everything they do, from the sexual undertones he sees in their innocent flower arrangement to their theft of a book from the FORBIDDEN section of the library. Naturally, the poor girls are victimised at every turn by this cruel man.

Cut to Amelia and Niki between takes in the dressing room, being generally bratty and making fun of our co-star. "Lunging phalluses!" we cry, mocking his outrage over the Freudian flower arrangement. We each take turns wearing his mustache (you mean that wasn't REAL?) and playfully smacking each other. Suddenly, the man himself barges in and catches us, appalled at our unprofessional behaviour. So he summons the director to help him deal with us again. We protest that we're not our downtrodden 19th century characters, but do they listen?

Back in corset-land we resume the plot with a lovely little twist. Mr Morton drags the girls to the prison to show them where they're headed if they don't mend their ways. Madeleine falls in love with one of the prisoners she sees there - a man who had been kind to her when she was in the asylum. Amelia is terribly excited for her and tells her she MUST run away and marry him. Uh-oh. Guess who's listening outside the door? With a cane.

This scene took several takes to perfect, with Amelia missing cues and our diva top flinging down the cane in a huff. I got frustrated and Amelia and I shouted at each other. The director shouted at both of us. And lo and behold, life imitated art yet again...

I was in real pain from laughing at some of the cock-ups on this shoot and I think we've got enough outtakes to fill a DVD. At one point Mr Morton came running into the room to catch us with the banned book. He slipped on the rug and did a mad pirouette with pinwheeling arms until he regained his balance. In another scene he made it impossible to keep Amelia from cracking up when he kept referring to a strap as "flaccid" and telling her to "have a feel".

Sorry I don't have any pics, but I'll post some as they go up on the Firm Hand site, beginning in February. We were all very proud of this one. Amelia has proven herself a very talented writer/director (as well as actress) and I can't wait to work with her again. Oh, hang on. I'm doing that on Sunday. ;-)

December 13, 2008 at 22:29

Tying machine

I think the actual name for it is "power transformer".

But when my brother and I were little we always called them "tying machines". We would taunt each other with vague threats about what happened to people who got trapped inside them.

Where does this stuff come from???

December 12, 2008 at 16:43

Lost in the woods

I'm sure there was a path here somewhere. Oh, hang on. What's this on the map - "Temple of the Great Old Ones"? Maybe they can help me find my way back...

Photo (c) Michael Scholar

December 10, 2008 at 08:56

Christmas stockings (and heels)

If you go to Eve Howard's Corner at Shadow Lane you can read her new column, which contains an account of my recent shoot with Keith Jones. (She's also posted lots of nice pictures!) ;-)

This is one of my favourites:

I have it on good authority that the film, "Hot Seat", is nearly finished and should be available by the end of the year.

And guess what! "Hot Seat" is now available from Shadow Lane! Hey, nothing says "Merry Christmas" like a bright red bottom! Time to drop hints to your kinky loved ones and you just might find me in your Christmas stocking.

(Ooohh, that's given me a lovely idea for another "tiny girl" pic...)

Photo (c) Shadow Lane

December 7, 2008 at 20:43

Naked in Trent Park

Last September I had two adventurous modelling gigs in London. One had me in scanty silk underthings in Harley Street and another had me naked in Trent Park, where the photographer, Christopher John Ball, and I had to dodge tourists and picnickers (and the rain) to get the shots. Here's a taste:

Photo (c) Christopher John Ball

December 5, 2008 at 11:40

spanking gift shop

I'm on the run this week, so let me give a shout-out to Abel & Haron's Spanking Gifts, where you can find over 40 kinky designs for mugs, shirts and accessories. Like these:

And this:

The shop belongs to Abel and Haron, a pair of right pervs spanking enthusiasts from the UK. In their words:

"We are best known as authors of The Spanking Writers, a daily updated blog that chronicles our spanking adventures. If you want to stay informed about new designs and products - of course we will be adding more! - subscribe to our blog and watch for updates."

I SO want a shirt that says this:

December 3, 2008 at 08:42

Draconian Artworks

My friend Drew Miller has been hard at work. He's the one with the shrinking ray who makes me tiny and vulnerable. He's also the one who turned me into a werewolf. And now...

Sushi, anyone?

Photo © Draconian Artworks

December 1, 2008 at 09:06

Hot Seat - Shadow Lane

Here are some stills from my Shadow Lane shoot.

Mr Hardwick isn't pleased to find his new assistant relaxing in the jacuzzi when she's meant to be working.

He's been suspicious of her from the start, wondering if she's an industrial spy sent to steal his patented invention to revolutionise solar energy. A strip search should tell him all he needs to know...

But who is she really working for?

Oh, the torture! Will she confess?

Hang on. Is it even LEGAL to spank your assistant? (Is there a helpline that deals with such issues?)

All photos © Shadow Lane

November 28, 2008 at 15:42

2-Year Not-Blogiversary (or How Blogs Become Real)

I'm not good with dates. I encourage people not to make a note of my birthday because I'll never remember theirs. And I'm not really big on Christmas or other holidays (except Halloween!). So of course I had no idea I was approaching my two-year blogiversary. (Easy guess who pointed it out to me.) Anyway, it's today - 26 November. Wow, two years! It's flown by. And I hope they've been an entertaining collection of posts and pictures.

People often ask why it's called the NOT-blog. Well, I was writing Dances with Werewolves at the time my web designer built this site for me and he suggested I have a blog. I resisted, saying I couldn't possibly find time for both and that it would be a very boring blog, as all the really cool stuff would be going into the book. But he persisted, I relented and decided to call it a not-blog so I wasn't obligated to treat it like a proper blog. But now that the book's done and out there, I suppose it's Become Real.

So - a big thank you to everyone for reading, posting and lurking (and de-lurking)!

PS) I'm shooting with Firm Hand alongside the lovely Amelia-Jane Rutherford this weekend, so it may be a little quiet around here. But I'll be back soon to tell you all about it.

November 26, 2008 at 07:57